Special Treats.

So, as a horse person, I know I am weird.  It is a fact, I have come to accept it, I no longer try to fight it.  I would rather be at the barn than out at a party, most of my best friends have 4 legs and weigh more than 1,000 pounds (for the ones that don't- thank god because you wouldn't fit in my little Saab if you did!), and I can tell you the weather 5 days out because I have already planned out everyone's blankets for the week.  It's a bit insane, kind of strange, very unique and makes people wonder exactly how hard you were dropped on your head as a child- apparently I was dropped repeatedly or else I fell off one too many times.  Over the years you tend to get all kinds of comments about horses- I think these are some of my favorites:

---"Is there someone there" ? No, that would just be me...by myself.... talking to the horses.  I didn't forget to take my meds and no, I do not expect them to answer.  I just like to pretend they understand me, it makes me feel better.  And being alone for 10 hours a day can get kind of lonely, so I try to not lose my ability to speak by talking to them.  I usually am yelling at someone, dog or horse...or cat, and telling someone else that I'm not yelling at them just because I am closest to them.  I'm sure they understand.  They know all my secrets by this point.  So if they could talk, I would paying them not to.


You need special treats to be so cute!



--In the 8th grade I got made fun of constantly for riding horses- most of the details can be left out because they are just too ridiculous to write- but, it somehow ended up that I was going to have "Hillary's Horses" when I grew up and ride in the Kentucky Derby.  Sadly, no one realized that by the 8th grade I was already too big to be a jockey- and I was not insane, 6 to 14 horses going 35 miles per hour 4 inches from each other- No Thank You I will not have another. However, they did seem to have get the Hillary's Horses right- I like it better as Hillary Irwin Eventing, but you take what you can get I suppose. 

--"You missed Homecoming for a horse thing?".  Yes.  I mean really? It's a gym that smells like sweaty feet with a few decorations to make it magical, filled with boys who still haven't figured out they need more deodorant if they are going to attempt to dance for that long and girls crying because their boyfriend broke up with them for the girl in the shorter dress.  So yes, I passed up that magnificent opportunity to take my 4 year old to his first show (Clif at the time) and my horse to a training (Monty--which he won on a 24!).  I did go to prom twice though, so that was all good fun. I went to my senior prom by driving back and forth to The Fork- my poor mother actually did the driving, surprise!-I was late for the pictures and complaining by midnight that I had to be up in 4 hours. I was a charming date I'm sure.



Monty, my homecoming date! ( I was the senior attendant and.....yeah...I have no

other excuses for this picture existing)

---"You do that thing with the hurdles?" I will be so happy the day a random person calls them jumps, but I have, for the most part, given up all hope of that.  So, usually about every month I end up explaining to someone that I do jump those hurdles and the horses do enjoy it (because as much as I like to think I'm big and tough, I am far too small to make a horse do much of anything they don't actually want to do--but I will win any battle- just ask them :) ).



--"Were you in a car wreck?".  No, I got stepped on because I fell off.  A car wreck would have been far less pathetic and more dramatic, instead I apparently just land like a dead body rather than rolling away from the 1200 pound animal throwing feet around like he is doing a line dance.  So, I graduated high school with a cast covering my entire right arm arm and bandages covering my left hand that had been split open due to a nice hoof stepping on it.  My dress was black and white- I like to think the white matched my pale white appearance and black matched the bruises. I coordinate so well.



Clif- 5 Points Int.

--"Here are your special treats." This would be the UPS man every month when he delivers the horse's Smartpaks.  He hands me to huge boxes and says " here are your special treats for those horses- they sure are lucky."  Special treats? Seriously? Do I look like the kind of person who order gourmet treats for my horses? Don't answer that- because you will probably say yes, and let's not add insult to injury.  I laugh and say Thanks, because I am not about to explain that they get electrolytes, some get omega, some get calming aids, some get joint supplements, some get tendon supplements and some get none because they are just not that special at 3 years old to warrant a monthly bill...... yet. 



Clif- 5 Points, XC Int.

 Everything is going well here.  All the babies had their very first outing.  They were all surprisingly well behaved. Africa, Aly, Nic and another horse in training all went- they all came back happy and with a good experience.  Poor Nic could not figure out why there were so many horses and no race track--he's so sweet.  He wanted to absolutely explode so badly, but he held it together- it's so nice when they trust you completely and you've only been riding them for 2 months...
Ramble and Tess went as well to get off the farm and do some flat work. (Tess also got her first set of back shoes in a year and a half, so she was pretty excited about her new Steven Maddens). They were very good as well.  Most all my horses are now going the Micklem Bridle- I think it's about as great as nerds (which I eat religiously).  Everyone who goes in it LOVES it. So for now we are the freaks in the strange looking bridle, but we are happy about it!
On the exciting news front Clif is all healed.  He is starting to go out with his friends next week, he is just so excited he is actually being nice on occasion!
I hope everyone is keeping warm and getting that Holiday shopping done!
Hillary